Hidden World of an Unrequited Love
by Mary-ann3112
Summary: Sirius Black is, shall we say, fond of female company. He has a new girlfriend every week and sometimes day! Until in their sixth year a new student comes to Hogwarts after being expelled from her last. Through trial and tribulations they grow to love eac
1. Chapter 1

Sirius and girls went together like the moon and stars, wands and wizards, bangers and mash! There was no escaping it; where Sirius went, there was most likely a small group of blithering, immature and quite frankly silly girls nearby. Even though it was annoying for his peers, Sirius loved all the attention, he thrived on it. Every now and then he would bend over to 'pick up a quill' or flex his strong muscles, all for the benefit of his doting admirers. Sirius was the heartthrob of the group. Don't get me wrong, James received his fair share of interest and Remus had had a girlfriend or two, but when it came to love, Lady Luck shined on Sirius. Peter, on the other hand, had to be the most unlucky fellow that Sirius had ever met. (And that's really saying something, Sirius had grown up with Regulus as a brother.) Overall, it was Sirius Black that the witches fantasized about in class, Sirius Black they adored, and he _loved_ it.

He and his friends had founded a very exclusive society that they had named _'__The Marauders__'_. It was so elite it only had, and only ever would have, four members: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Who are they you might ask…well I will tell you in due course, after you learn the antics of which this club swore by. The Marauders prided themselves on being the most capable and creative pranksters ever known to Hogwarts! They out-witted their rivals, not only because they were devious and sneaky, but they were also extraordinarily clever, and daring and brave, 'boldly going where no other mischief-maker has been before!'

Now on to the esteemed members who, as I am sure you have worked out by now, are none other than: Remus 'Moony' Lupin, Peter 'Wormtail' Pettigrew, Sirius 'Padfoot' Black and James 'Prongs' Potter. They had been firm friends since they had met on the Hogwarts express at the start of their first year. When they had all been sorted into the same house, Gryffindor, their fates had been sealed. They spent their days studying, pretending to study, pulling pranks, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. They all lived in blissful ignorance, thinking this happily ever after would indeed be for ever after.

Little did they know that Macy Ariana Gow was currently causing a magical tornado in the dining room of her school in the south of France and subsequently being excluded. Well that's not strictly true, she did not get kicked out because of the tornado on its own. It was really a mixture of: putting a silencing charm on the Head while he was giving a speech to the Minister for Magic, throwing at 20 tonne bolder at fellow student who had tried to trip her (using magic of course) and finally, after being given several warnings, the tornado. So she was now packing her bags and returning to her parents home in England

Soon, she would find herself at Hogwarts and changing life there so nothing would be the same again.


	2. Watching and Waiting

Sirius crept quietly around the desks to get a better look at the new girl, Macy. She was positively angelic, but definitely only in looks. As he was staring, she pointed her wand at Professor Spindlier and causally flicked it, causing her to rise up into the air and start singing loudly about 'Uncanny Annie' who, it turns out, was a rather peculiar witch from North Ronaldsay, a small island off the coast of Scotland. 'Uncanny Annie' had a very beautiful sister and she spent her life trying to invent a spell to make her gorgeous sibling less so. And finally after 47 years she conquered her quest, but unfortunately she accidentally killed herself the next day so had hardly anytime revel in her glory. By the end, Sirius was laughing so hard that he slipped out from his hiding place and found himself rolling on the floor. Fortunately, he was not the one doing this, so it went unnoticed by Macy, who was not laughing but simply wearing a self-satisfied smirk. When the bell rang a few minutes later, Sirius let her go ahead so that he could think up a plan of action. He hurried to catch up with Remus, James, and Peter to see what they thought he should do.

"Bloody hell mate, if _you_ can't get a girl, its hard luck for the rest of us. You've had about half of them already, though, so I could see how it might be getting a bit harder!" _James always was good at giving out at advice_, Sirius thought dryly. Remus was far better.

"Easy; just go up and introduce yourself. What's the worst she can do… turn you down?"

"Crap, she could turn me down! What's that like?" He turned towards Peter with an inquisitive look.

"I've had a girlfriend," the poor boy said indignantly

"Sorry Peter, mate, but imaginary ones don't count" Sirius said with a snort

"So any way, I'm going to do it now. Wish me luck. Merlin, if only I had some Felix," he added as an after thought, "Maybe I can sneak down to the potions storeroom and nick some!"

"NO!" said Remus and Peter.

"Hell yeah!" exclaimed James

"Just go."

He hung back behind the rest of the group then fell into step with Macy, who was on her own looking quite miserable.

"Hey, Macy is it?" He pretended not to know that much about her, as he did not want to seem desperate. Not that he was; he could get any girl in Hogwarts, but somehow it seemed like there was something different about this one…

"Yes, who are you?" she looked down her nose at him, which did not improve his spirits _at all_.

"I'm erm… I'm Sirius Black," he stuttered. A funny look flashed momentarily over her face, so he asked, "Sorry, do you know me or something?"

"Yeah, I've heard of you," she glanced around at the crowd, which had started to gather around, and was mainly made up of Sirius' ex-girlfriends. "Your that boy who lost his virginity in the second year aren't you?" A playful yet malicious smirk threatened to creep across her beautiful face.

"Well, I'd prefer to be known for my other triumphs, but yeah I suppose that was me," Sirius admitted, not quite sure if he liked where this was going.

"Wasn't it in the astronomy tower with that slutty seventh year?" she asked evenly. A pretty girl ran from the crowd with her face in her hands, she was the 'slutty seventh year!' Macy didn't even look round.

"So what if I did? What, are you jealous?"

"If you think I'm jealous then you're more bloody deluded then I thought, and that's saying something!" she scoffed. A couple of people laughed but instantly stopped as Sirius reeled around to glare at them. They scattered, as he was also known for his extremely bad temper and used his fist and wand before thinking. He breathed heavily trying to calm down, and then turned back around to face Macy with a cheeky grin. He had spotted something to use to his advantage.

"Accio Condom!" a small square package zoomed out of her breast pocket.

"Not mastered the contraceptive charm yet, eh?" he mocked. For the first time Macy blushed, and tried to snatched it back.

"Give it to me!"

"Now why would I do that? So tell me, with whom were you planning to use this? Someone you already know or maybe someone you're planning to get to know?" he threw her a sexy smile and raised his eyebrows suggestively; her only retort was a withering look.

"Oh Sweetie, let's not fall out. Not with the poor astronomy tower waiting. It has come to expect me there every Saturday!" Now when his audience laughed he turned around and bowed. When he turned back to her, there was a slight smile on her lips. She leaned in until her mouth was nearly touching his ear.

"Alright then, see you there. Saturday night. Eleven o' clock," she whispered.

"WH…what… See you… Saturday night…" Sirius spluttered.

"Yes, Saturday night at eleven. Don't be late, as I'm a very busy girl," with that she turned away, looking as though she had merely agreed to meet up for lunch, not to have sex with him.

By the time Saturday had come around, he was a bag of nerves and had tried to calm them by sleeping with many good-looking girls, his cure for everything. For the first time ever, his cure hadn't worked. Ten-thirty came and Sirius stood up from his spot on the Common Room couch, hitting a first year around the head absently. His eyes were wide with terror as he turned to his friends.

"Flaming hell, I can't do it, I really can't do it. Please don't make me James and this is your entire bloody fault Remus you told me to talk to her -"

"I didn't tell you to pinch a condom from her pocket and show it to everyone in the vicinity," Remus said calmly, not looking up from his book. Remus Lupin had retained his innocence. It wasn't as if he didn't have the chance, he just did not feel ready. Also, he had begun to think strange thoughts, thoughts that unnerved him. Most of these thoughts contained a certain friend of his who was more sexually active than a bunny in heat. Lupin looked up at his friend, a pinching feeling engulfed his chest, and his stomach felt hollow, painful and exhausting. He wanted to get his mind off it right now. He looked quickly around at a fifth year girl who had been staring at him; Remus stood up and swaggered over to her,

"Hi, I'm Remus, erm, Remus Lupin. What's your name?"

"My names Sahara, can I help you?" she asked, looking up at him through her lashes.

"I was just wondering what you're doing tomorrow night maybe we could go for a walk or something you know get to know each other and stuff….but if you don't want to, erm fine yeah, I'll just go. Sorry to waste your time. Bye!" he finished quickly, hardly bothering to separate the words and went to dash back to his dormitory, but a soft warm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back so they were inches away.

"I'd love to Remus. I'll meet you here at eight o'clock, okay?" she breathed seductively, and then she turned away and rejoined her friends without a second glance. Slightly dazed, he staggered back to his chair where all his friends stared at him, positively gob-smacked. He had only had one girlfriend before, and Sirius had pushed them together. This was certainly an improvement. After watching several minutes of silent staring between Remus and Sahara, Sirius turned around and walked towards the portrait hole.

"Where you going?" James demanded. Sirius kept going and said just one short word.

"Macy."

The walk to the tower seemed longer than it had ever been before. He slowly turned the corner and stopped at the bottom of the stairway, staring at the solid, stonewall as though it would give him answers, to stop him from liking her so much. This feeling didn't belong to Sirius what was this, Sirius Black would never love. Surely not. Wait a minute, though, was this love or was it lust? Was it love or lust that surged through his veins and arteries? Love or lust that electrified every nerve in his hands and feet? Love or lusts that made him crave her touch more than the air in his lungs? He looked down at his watch and was alarmed to see that he was already five minutes late; he had a sudden urge to run up the stairs just to stop her from worrying about him not turning up, but his feet seemed reluctant to leave the ground. When he eventually did reach the top, his hand hesitated just above the handle. What if she was playing a trick on him and waiting just beyond this door was a massive crowd of people ready point and laugh at the hormone-raging sex-addict? He was wondering how many people he could curse at once when, of its own accord, his hand jumped to the heavy bronze door handle and pushed it open. Macy stood with her back to him gazing out on to the dark lawn through the long, pointed, gothic window,

"I thought you'd changed your mind," she said, her back still towards him.

"Well I thought you were playing a trick on me…you're not, are you? 'Cos if you are…"

"I'm not," she breathed. "The truth is… I've sort of, you know…fallen for you" she now turned around to Sirius, contemplating him thoroughly like he was in the direct line of an x-ray. He took the opportunity to stare into her enchanting eyes, "In divination class, remember?" She took a few steps forwards.

"Yeah, I remember. I asked Remus who you were, he told me you're quite the rebel!" he closed the gap considerably so that their bodies were almost touching, electricity flying from one to the other, "And you said those things about me…"

"I'm sorry about that, but you have to admit…" he could now feel her warm breath on his neck, as she was quite a bit shorter than he was. "…thirteen is a bit young." Then the space was closed and her soft, feathery lips touched his. He pulled away and caressed her cheek with his finger-tips, her hands slipping beneath his robes and t-shirt to slowly slide up and down over his torso. His other hand was now in Macy's hair, and they kissed again, but this kiss was deeper and much, much more passionate. After several minutes (or it could have been hours, Sirius couldn't tell anymore), she started to unbutton his robes and slid them off his broad, muscular shoulders; he in turn did the same and proceeded to lift her shirt over her head. Her chest was heaving with every breath. She was wearing a black, lacy bra, and her breasts were stark white, longing to be touched underneath. Her stomach was perfectly toned, and he paused for a second to take in her beautiful, mature figure, then he remembered something.

"Have you, you know, had…sex before?" he asked nervously.

"Course I have." And she kissed him again, her tongue sweeping around his mouth

"Are you…sure…you…want…to?" Sirius gasped in between fresh bouts of battles between each tongue.

"Uh huh," was all Macy managed to say before yanking off his t-shirt and undoing his trousers. Soon they were both completely naked. Sirius kissed her neck and proceeded down her body, his tongue skimming her hips and thighs. Very soon it became obvious that Macy hadn't exactly been as good at telling the truth as she was at kissing.

"Macy, I thought you said you'd done this before?" he said over her moans of pain. She sat up and told him, firmly, to carry on. Therefore, reluctantly, he did. Soon the cries of agony turned into cries of ecstasy, and she pressed her lips on his to stop from waking the entire castle.

When they had finished he held her shivering body close to his and kissed her neck and shoulders. He thought back, it had been clumsy but beautiful, perfect and right. With her, sex was not dirty, but pure and white.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?" Sirius whispered.

"I thought you only went for sluts and whores, I've only had one boyfriend but we never got passed second-base," she admitted shyly. Sirius chuckled.

A/N- It will probably be a while before the next chapters up. I'm not sure if i wrote that on the 1st chapter... :s! Very busy and i am sort of in a block as to where to go with this story. But check out my other fic- 'For Merlin's Sake Ronald' and leave a review...for both of them!

"You might not have as much experience as the others but you were without a doubt the most amazing. Honest!" he added seeing the look on Macy's face.

"Well I've never had anything to compare it with have I?" she muttered whilst nibbling his ear affectionately.

"I have had _plenty_ to compare, and you are the best!"

"How many?" she whispered, stiffening. Her face had turned stony.

"How many what?"

"Girls, how many girls have you slept with?" there was a note of deep jealousy in her throat. Sirius sighed, calculating whether the truth would cause too much damage. No, she deserved the truth, he decided. Besides, he knew she would find out anyway.

"I slept with five in my second year, they were all older girls. Only three in third year, that was the first seventh year. Twelve in the fourth year, including my first girl friend, and (promise you won't tell anyone this?) but thirty girls in my fifth year. And seven so far this year," he finished counting them off on his fingers.

"Okay, one: you only had your first girl-friend after already shagging 19 people and two: we've only been here five days and there have been seven already?!"

"I was nervous about tonight…" was his poor defence.


	3. Mutilation Patient

_Disclaimer: Don't own anything. _

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This story is just random...don't really like it myself!

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_**Chapter 3- Mutilation Patient**_

Unfortunately, Sirius' nightly escapades had taken its toll on his health so the next day he lay in bed thinking about Macy and feeling utterly sorry for himself. As he didn't turn up for classes of mealtimes or anywhere in the corridors or common areas, Macy thought he was avoiding her and he didn't ever want to see her again. This thought wasn't discouraged when she overheard a group of girls standing in a secluded corner of the courtyard discussing the rumour going round that Sirius had met two girls last night practically one after the other. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her into her Ravenclaw dormitory, dove her hand into the trunk, and pulled out the sharp, silver knife used for potions. Shaking back her left sleeve, she exposed her forearm. She stared at the spider's web of veins tangling up her arm. She paused, grabbed her diary from under the mattress, and wrote, not much just enough to get it off her chest, which might stop her doing something, really stupid. Macy appeared to calm down and loosened her grip on the knife, suddenly the pain and horror screamed back in to her face. She slammed the journal shut and hastily and clumsily pushed it back to its original hiding place. She screwed up her fist and screamed. She had loved him, she still does but he practically used her as a blow-up doll muggles buy from sex shops to simulate sex with. That is all I am something to get out from the back of the cupboard when lonely or bored. Her fist were now so contorted and pressed so tightly together small delicate nails broke trough the flesh and blood seeped out. An intense wave of relief washed through her now she new what to do. A flash of light and a gush of deep crimson blood spread all over her robes, she slashed her wrist again, repeatedly. A pool of blood on the bed and floor and it was splattered on her face. Stating to feel dizzy, she collapsed to her knees then lay face down in her own pool of self-inflicted blood. As she lay unconscious, her heart pumped out more and more.

Sirius had started to feel worse so James decided he ought to go to the hospital wing. By the time James had dragged him there he had a ferocious temperature and had a fit. Madame Pomfrey had tucked him into bed, shooed away a collection of anxious looking girls begging to see him when a shriek penetrated the still, calm air. Merely seconds later and burly seventh year boy crashed trough the heavy wooden door completely covered in blood as was the young girl in his arms. Professor Flitwick the head of Ravenclaw dashed quickly behind. Pomfrey ran forwards and showed the boy where to lay her down, on the bed on the direct right of Sirius. He looked round in alarm and as she flopped down, he saw a sight that sickened him. Her wrists were so deeply cut he could see the severed veins and skin tissue poking out unnaturally. All of a sudden, her limp head faced him. Macy lay silent as if asleep. Sirius jumped up and forced his way to her side,

"Macy, Macy, what happened, who did this to you?" tears stinging his eyes

"Nobody did it too her, she did, my sister found her half-dead with the knife still in her hand" the boy looked down in shock and sadness whilst Madame Pomfrey sobbed at this revelation. Sirius gently took off her robes just like the night before, but this time Macy was fighting for her life. As he did for the first time he noticed hundreds, no thousands of scars all over her arms, stomach and back everywhere he looked she had wounded her self. He mustn't have seen last night through a mixture of moonlight and the fact that they were focusing on other things,

"I don't understand I saw her completely naked last night and I didn't see anything like that," he mumbled mainly to himself

"Well if you saw her naked your eyes wouldn't have been focusing on her arms!" a little smirk crept across the saviours lips but quickly rectified it. The nurse on the other hand did not

"For god sake Sirius you can't stay away can you? I thought you would have learned your lesson with that nasty rash!"

"Miss, declare it too the whole school why don't you" Sirius snarled

"Sorry but it has too stop there's only so many girls I can give the pepper-up potion to after you dumped them"

"Fine okay you've had your say. For your information I think I love this one" a look of realisation dawned upon his handsome features

"It's my fault, my bloody fault," he muttered getting louder with each syllable, "IT'S ALL MY FAULT"

"Please calm down Mister Black, I'm sure it's not"

"IT IS, I WAS SO ILL I COULDN'T SEE HER SO SHE OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT I WAS AVOIDING HER," he roared

"AND THOSE HARPIES I JUST _USED_ FOR SEX AND A RELIEF OF BOREDOM AT THE WEEKEND MUST HAVE SPURRED HER THOUGHTS" he was so angry now he turned on the spot and bolted out of the door. People close to the ward had obviously heard his outburst and stared as he passed he didn't care all he cared about was getting revenge. As he ran, his hand closed around the wrist of a Ravenclaw girl he had screwed a few days ago

"What the hell are you doing Sirius?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh right yeah I get you, I suppose I can spare an hour!"

"No you whore, I need to get into your tower and your going to show me how and where" he muttered, nearing hysteria now and yanking her in a less than gentlemanly fashion.

"PLEASE Sirius your scaring me!" tears were spilling from her eyes and she genially looked scared

"Get it over and done with then" he slowed down "I know its around here somewhere, but I generally go for any girl who isn't in Ravenclaw, I prefer my girls stupid airheads" he sneered at her

"No, you said I was the most intelligent girls you know!" she pulled away her arm violently, leading the way to her common room. He grabbed he hips and pulled her sharply towards him. With faces centimetres apart

"You were, but remembering that isn't saying much" her hand went to slap him but he stopped it easily. For some reason she thought this was an opening for a kiss and leaned in. Sirius pushed her away with a look of disgust.

"Just show me where you lie awake thinking of me shagging you every night" he said she pointed him in the right direction and informed him that he had to answer a riddle. Today's was 'What comes first the Phoenix or the Fire' and the answer was that it was an infinite circle.

He walked briskly up the stone steps and knocked or hammered on the handle-less door, answered the stupid question, stormed in and asked a small first year girl where the Macy slept, she pointed a shaking finger in the right direction. Sirius charged up and slammed the door open. He couldn't help it but he started sobbing at the mess before him. Books and clothes were thrown everywhere. A small but deadly silver knife lay abandoned near a puddle of blood, on the floor a lake of it rippled. He sat down on a nearby bed weeping into his palms. It pitiful sight really. After several minutes of heart wrenching sadness Sirius managed to compose himself and set about find what he had come for. He looked in her trunk, under her bed and pillow, in her wardrobe until he found it a small powder blue diary embossed with the words 'property of Macy Arianna Gow' he smiled at her name as though it was her eyes and lips and nose. After opening it he slammed, it shut again,

'You can't read that' said the angel on his shoulder,

'Yes, he can…you need to know if it was your fault mate' replied the devil on the opposite arm,

'Yes but that's her personal thoughts', blurted out the angel again

'bloody hell, it's gonna torture him for life if he doesn't, then they'll both lose out' the angel, who subsequently had the voice of Remus, had no answer to this so Sirius opened the diary and skimmed to the day they first met,

'good on ya mate, I knew ya had it in ya!" cried the devil who sounded like James.

_Dear Diary,_

_First day at Hogwarts today, I was absolutely shitting myself. The lessons weren't too bad. I bloody hated Divination it was the biggest load of crap I've ever heard! The best thing about today though was that I met a boy. He's so unbelievably good-looking it's breath taking. I'd heard a lot about him already, he's quite the ladies man. Virtually half the girls in school have fucked him. I thought I had blown any chance of him liking me when I started having a go at him about it, practically calling him a man-whore, but then he turned it around, and he was in charge now! It's a long story but somehow I'd invited him to the Astronomy Tower literally to have sex with me! I've decided not to tell him I'm a virgin it'll only _put_ him off._

_I am worried he'll see my scars but it'll be very dark I suppose, with only moonlight flooding in. I hope that he'll never find out about my past…I'll certainly not tell him and nobody else knows, so my secrets safe!_

_Oh I forgot, his name is Sirius Black _

_Love_

_M xxx_

Sirius stared at where she had written his name, it was slightly neater than the rest and she had drawn a tiny heart next to the 'K'.

He next turned his attention to where she said that he was 'unbelievably good-looking it's breathtaking' he felt his heart swell to bursting point she really liked him as much he likes her. Sirius wasn't stupid he knew that many girls thought him handsome and more than a few think, they love him but all he can see and think about is that Macy thought so to! He skipped to the night they slept together:

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh Merlin's Pants, I've done it, I mean we've done it, me and Sirius we have actually had sex! I am no longer a virgin. It was amazing, so perfect. I felt so safe as I lay with his arms around me, kissing me. It was like no one in the world existed but me. __I love him__ and I think that he might actually feel the same way, I know it sounds weird but you can't hold someone they way he held me and not be feeling something!_

_It hurt a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. I also bled a lot. I'd heard that you bleed a little but… anyway after it stopped hurting it felt brilliant, __wonderful, marvellous, superb, excellent, magnificent, splendid, and great! So good, I had to bite his lip to stop me from screaming! Ohhhh and he did something I've never heard of before but I was the best feeling in the world, he… (It's quite embarrassing to say!) He licked and kissed me down…there, you know what I mean! It was like a great invisible hand had pressed a button to make me instantly weak at the knees. I'm just glad I was lying down because I would certainly have fell. In addition, he has a really nice (sorry I really can't say it but you catch my drift!!!) Then afterwards we just lay in silence for at least half an hour then he said I was the best he'd ever had! Then he told me he had already slept with…wait for it…__**57**__ girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is just unbelievable. He said that sometimes it could be up to three different girls a day. I don't really blame him as he has every girl in the school begging him and he is a teenage boy. Granted most people don't sleep with nearly 57 people in a lifetime never mind in 5 years! Maybe he'll want me to be his girlfriend and then we'll move in together after Hogwarts and then get married, have four children and then grow old together in blissful paradise!_

_I'm soooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Love_

_M xxx_

He turned page and read on:

_Dear Fucking Stupid Worthless Piece of Shit,_

_I hate my self. Life is seriously not worth living I'm so unhappy, I want scream and never stop. The reason why: Sirius Black- the love of my life and serial adulterer. He avoided me all day and then I heard he fucking screwed some whore minutes after I left and wrote down how happy I am. How deluded and fucked-up am I! I could laugh I'm so pathetic. I swore to myself I'd never hurt myself again but times have changed. I'm sat here with the knife in my hand and I still love him more than life, the heavens and the earth. I love him so effing much I can't breathe. Maybe I shouldn't cut myself again, he might still want me!!! NO NO NO_

_NO. He can't choose, have a different girl every day. Well there you go there's nothing to live for so…_

_Goodbye_

_M xxx_

The bottom corner of the front coveris splattered with her blood. He sat on the edge of some random, faceless girls bed. Crying loudly into his hands. Hurting on the inside and out, physically and mentally, real pain, real feelings. _Aghh I'm was a disappointment, loser. _Sirius thought,_ Maybe I really am a genuine pure-blood maniac, muggle killing Black. None of my family care about others. All of them are arrogant, cocky…pathetic._ Sirius broke down completely and hurtled out of Ravenclaw tower and ran as fast as was physically possible back to Gryffindor. His stomach seemed to have stayed in his girlfriends room. Professor McGonagall tried to stop him to tell him off for running indoors but Sirius kept going and he never stopped until he was lay face down in his own bed. James and Remus came seconds after and rushed over to there inconsolable friend,

"What's wrong Sirius, hello Sirius answer me! What the hells the matter with you" James shook Sirius shoulders

"Please tell us, your scaring me padfoot mate; you never cry not even when you broke both your legs and your arm in Quidditch!" Remus added, his face pale in contrast to James who was red and sweating

"It's Macy" his two friends exchanged worried glances

"What about her mate, did she…dump you?"

"No…she thought I'd finished with her so she…" he couldn't say it. Suddenly he felt sick so he ran to the bathroom, kneeled in front of the toilet and threw up way more than he had ate that day. He clung to the side so he wouldn't fall over then lowered himself to the floor and curled up into the foetal position and rocked backwards and forwards on the bathroom floor. James and Remus were now so worried Remus ran to get a teacher, maybe Sirius was still ill and he should be in the hospital wing? James didn't ask him again, what was wrong, all he did was sit next to him, rub his back and tell him everything will be okay. Ten minutes later Remus came back with McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick. He led them in to the bathroom where Sirius was still crying and rocking James still muttering in his ear,

"Goodness gracious, whatever is the matter boy" McGonagall said crouching down next to the small beautiful howling little boy on the floor. When he didn't answer she and Sprout pulled him into a chair where he just flopped over like a puppet whose strings was cut.

"Macy" was all he managed to say,

"Oh are you good friends with Miss Gow?"

"He slept with her last night!" James blurted out then quickly realised who he was talking to and slapped his hand over his mouth,

"Did you now Black"

"I love her…my fault…it's all my fault…I really love and I did this…it's my entire fucking fault and the bitches who told I fucked someone else minutes after she went…it's all my fault…"

"There's no need to say them disgusting words no matter how upset you are" Flitwick said disapprovingly

"I would never sleep someone straight after anyway, who do they think I am?" Sirius said loudly still looking at his knees

"Oh come on mate you have to admit it had happened before…you know shagging more then one person a day. Remember the day you were trying to break the record and had 5 in one day"

"Shut up James" Remus said, this time shaking his head at his tactless friend

"Yeah your right I'm a loser who doesn't care that most of them girls are in love with me. I just shag them and then toss them aside"

"Mister Black, you do know that it's against school rules to have sexual intercourse with people during term time"

Suddenly his head shot up, he grabbed the front of McGonagall's robes and said:

"I love her… I mean actual love. Like, my heart hurts, I can't breathe, I'd die for you, love" he released and stood up and left the room. Once he had gone in search of the hospital wing. James finally asked the question that he was dying to ask

"What the hell's wrong with Macy, 'cos I'm starting to think she didn't dump him!" Remus sighed and Flitwick told them everything.

It was now 9 o'clock and Sirius had fallen to sleep with his head on Macy's stomach breathing in her beautiful smell: honey and roses! Madame Pomfrey did not disturb him. She had watched as he tore through the door and told the unconscious girl that he loved her more than the air he breathes. An hour later Macy finally woke up, she was distraught because she had intended to die…'can't even do that right!' she thought bitterly. Then she felt something move slightly around her midriff, she looked down and saw Sirius asleep with his long, black, silky hair splayed all around his perfect face

"Sirius?" he did not respond still fast off

"Sirius?" she said louder this time as well as poked him on his forehead

"What is it? Is it Macy? Is she awake?" he had jerked his head up but had not spotter her deep brown eyes reflecting the moonlight

"Yeah she has and she's wondering what the bloody hell your doing here?" her eyes flashed black.

"Oh Macy, sweetheart, I came here to tell you that I love you and I swear I never cheated on you, I wouldn't you're the most amazing person in entire universe. Please don't ever do that to yourself again, you nearly died!"

"That's was the idea" she still didn't know whether or not to trust him.

"Why? I don't understand. You have your entire life ahead you; WE have an entire life ahead of us"

"You wouldn't understand would you…I have suffered from Manic Depression since the age of 2, when I first slit my wrists. The healers can't treat or control it very well; I have to live with it,"

"There must be someway of helping you, I noticed that you didn't have any cuts on you (apart from the ones you just did) only scars so you must be able to control it?" she shook her head sadly, her beautiful copper hair swinging from side to side, causing rainbows to dance on the walls and ceilings. She slowly slid away the covers and slipped of her trousers, she turned to face him. She showed him the soles of her feet it was heart breaking to see how the poor baby tortures herself. There they were, her feet and ankle's peppered with little pin-pricks and cuts, he kissed the worst ones trying to make them heal, she gasped and Sirius looked up at her it was in pleasure not pain, he kissed them again, every one of them. She was shouting louder now, Sirius put a silencing charm around her bed and closed the curtains. He kissed her mouth tracing the outline of her teeth and lips with his tongue. She grabbed the back of his head to make him deepen the kiss, they removed their clothes and Sirius lay on his back as Macy straddled him. His hard hands gripped her curvy hips, and she moved slowly but not like, he had done whilst in the pit of despair, but with eagerness and vigour. He looked up into and her face. She wasn't perfect what so ever, her complexion was slightly flawed, and she had bags under her beautiful eyes. But the bad bits to an average passers-by were the good bits for Sirius. They made her complete and human, so much unlike his previous girlfriends who took hours to put on their make up and do their hair. At the same time she bit and sucked his ears

"Oh Sirius"

"Macy" and she collapsed on top him breathing short and ragged. She lifted her head slightly and he kissed her nose lightly which made her giggle, a few minutes later she sighed

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"What"

"Making me fall for you even more?"

"That would be impossible for me 'cos I could never love you more than I do now"

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	4. Hot & Spicy!

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_**Chapter 4- Hot and Spicy!**_

Remus Lupin had always had issues with self-confidence so when the time had come for him to meet Sahara, he was in pieces but slightly less than he normally would be due to the breakdown of his best friend but all the same, he was nervous. He dressed himself perfectly in a black t-shirt that actually belonged to Sirius so it was slightly baggy but gave him a sort of dishevelled 'I don't care what I look like. I'm to cool' look. Paired with baggy jeans, not his first choice but when James literally shoved his legs into them he couldn't be bothered to change.

Ten minutes later, he had met Sahara in the entrance hall and they were now walking along a path next to the court yard.

"So, Sahara is an interesting name, does it mean anything particular, you know except a very hot desert?" Remus was struggling to start up a conversation and Sirius had told him that girls like to talk about themselves,

"My full name is Sahara Paprika LaRonetti and it means, It's quite embarrassing actually, but it means…hot and spicy!"

"Honestly? That is so cool…it suits you" he added with a blush

"Thanks, it was originally just Sahara but they added Paprika when I grew up, I have quite the temper sometimes!" they laughed

"I'll try not to get on the wrong side of you then!"

"Yeah that's best" there was an awkward silence both of them staring around at the surroundings. A soft, warm, small hand crept into Remus', he started and looked around she stopped and stared into his face, slowly he leaned in a brushed his lips against hers she responded immediately. Her hands crept up into his light brown hair and twirled it around her fingers. His worn, thin hands wrapped around her slim waist, pulling her as close as physically possible. He removed his tongue from her mouth and kissed her jaw line, all the way around to the other side, then followed the trail of her windpipe down to her neck. Her body smelt like talcum powder, but her neck was defiantly lavender. Remus liked the contrast. Sahara threw back her head encouraging him to continue. It was painfully obvious that she was willing to go all the way. She knelt down and started to undo his belt,

"No" he said sharply and backed away

"Why, I thought that's what you wanted" she stood and grabbed his hand,

"What…why would you think that?" he was completely confused; Remus had never even suggested that he wanted to have sex with anyone. He just sat in the corner with a book and only really spoke when spoken to.

"Well your friends with Sirius so I thought…"

"Your thought wrong, I'm nothing like him. He's reckless and stupid. And I just wanted someone to care about and who cared about Me." he was getting quite heated now.

"I'm sorry, I do care about you… a lot" she pleaded now holding both of his hands

"Look, I need to think… I can't be hurt again, please just give me some space okay." he took his hands back and walked away,

"Remus wait please" shouted Sahara crying now

"I'll see you soon…find you I mean, somewhere. I just got to go" he broke in to a run and ended up in the Gryffindor Common Room and slammed himself into an empty chair next to James

"Flaming Nora, can anyone have a simple relationship nowadays?" James exclaimed

"What happened to yours…slit her throat?".

"That's not funny and no she didn't" Remus muttered

"Well what then?"

"She tried to sleep with me"

"Oh please tell me your kidding…sleep with you, what is the world coming to!!!" he shouted, sarcasm practically oozing out of him.

"Shut up"

"I certainly hope Sirius is having a better time sitting at the bed-side of his self-harming girlfriend!!!" And he was!

A few minutes later Sahara climbed through the portrait hole and stopped dead, she gazed into his eyes, looking for an answer. Her own eyes were red and puffy, but she still looked beautiful with her waist length blonde hair emitting a silvery glow. It is rumoured that she is distantly related to a veela but she either doesn't know or doesn't want to say because she's never breathed a word to anyone about it. They looked at each other for quite a period of time until Remus looked away and into the fire. He had seen Sirius' face instead of hers. Why, he doesn't understand. He's not gay; he likes girls…lots of girls. In fact, he was going to prove it, right now.

"Sahara" he called, "Listen, I'm sorry I was wrong and I think your right it is what I want…so do you want to?" he wasn't at all nervous he had to prove that he was straight and Sahara was the perfect girl to do it with. She was nice, smart and beautiful. And she liked him as he liked her, he thinks.

"What do it…now?"

"Yeah, why not, better late than never!" he laughed

"I don't know, it's such an important thing to do. Are you sure?" she stuttered nervously,

"Uh huh, it'll prove to you how much you mean to me!" at this a small smile appeared, she grabbed his hand and dragged him into her dorm. They made love passionately well into the night. They did it over and over again. Sirius' face appearing more often with each time.

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	5. Maybe, Baby

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_**Chapter 5- Maybe, Baby**_

Macy was released the following day, still with massive bandages on her wrists as the cuts were so deep the magic took it's time to heal. Sirius escorted her back to her common room on the way snarling at passers-by to leave her alone. The truth had somehow got out probably because Professor Flitwick had gone to her dorm and removed everything sharp including all of the of the girls leg razors much to there annoyance. Macy hated all the staring and the fact that people actually seemed scared of her, like she was going to run around on a murderous rampage brandishing a knife! So she and Sirius mainly kept themselves to themselves with the exception of James, Remus and Peter, with Sahara occasionally popping up. She was looking increasingly dishevelled and ill as the weeks drew on. A month after the fateful day when Macy tried to top herself and Remus 'became a man', Sahara was regularly having to rush out of class to vomit. Remus was getting seriously worried, she must be really ill, it's not just the being sick, she's also lost her silvery glow, her skin, which was previously flawless, has now developed a few spots and worst of all one minute she's laughing and joking, the next crying and hitting him. Two weeks later Sahara fainted in the corridors, there were hundreds of hungry teenagers rushing towards the Great Hall for Lunch, nearly trampling her

"Sahara" Remus shouted out. He pushed everyone away and knelt next to her limp frame, she was completely knocked out

"Go and get a teacher!" he demanded from a scared looking first year. Then out of no-where he realised he had feelings for her, there was no Sirius in his mind now only the poor shaking girl lay in front of him. They had spent hardly anytime together in the past six weeks just hug here and a kiss there, not really talking much. But looking at her beautiful delicate face, her flickering eyelids and little button nose…'definitely part vella' Remus thought. Madame Pomfrey arrived and took Sahara to the Hospital Wing, Remus didn't go with them he went to find Sirius and James. He looked everywhere in the castle and still couldn't find them, he went to the grounds and looked in the usual places such as the massive tree next to the lake, the cave round the back of the school and the edge of the forest where the met to transform if they were staying in the grounds. Suddenly he heard a giggle and the rustle of leaves looking around he saw Sirius lay on top of Macy kissing her and generally feeling her up in very rude places!

"Hm Hm" signalling his approach. There was quite a lot of movement as Sirius rolled off and removed his hands(!) and Macy stumbled up straightened her skirt and blouse and tried to look dignified, but failed.

"Erm…I just came to erm to tell you that Sahara got sent to the hospital wing she fainted and got trampled, probably broke a couple of fingers ,you know, and I just wanted to talk to you Sirius there's some stuff I need to get off my chest. But if your busy I'll go see Sahara to check on her. Okay then, bye" That was one of the most uncomfortable moments of his life and his face showed it, a deep blush crept up his face, which was echoed on his friends. Sirius glanced at Macy who nodded solemnly and he took off after Lupin,

"Mooney mate, wait up what's the matter? Is she alright?"

"Yeah just fainted, it's just…Oh bloody hell I can't tell you!!!" he sighed and flopped down onto the grass with his head in his hands

"Why, I'm supposed to be your best friend" indignation in his deep voice,

"Because"

"Because what?"

"can't say"

"Tell me or I'll beat you up"

"No, you're the one person I can't tell. I was looking for James"

"Tell me"

"No"

"Tell Me"

"No"

"TELL ME YOU BASTARD"

"NO" Sirius lost his temper and grabbed his friend threw his down on his back sat on top of him and pinned him down with his wrists above his head.

"Tell me" he whispered scarily calm again

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!!" Sirius stared into his eyes not moving a muscle

"Well I did but… I just don't know, 'cos when Sahara fainted I felt things for her. I'm just so confused by it all. When I slept with her 45 of the time I was seeing you" he couldn't believe he said that but he had to tell someone, "and then everything with Macy happened and I hardly ever see you anymore and that's all I want, you, I don't even care if I ever kiss you or touch you, even though that's all I want in the world. For your lips to touch mine would be heaven but I know that can never happen because your straighter than a bloody ruler. I don't even think I'm gay cos guess what…no-one knows this but me and Sahara fucked 5 times, yeah 5 and that's not all. Five time in one night!!! Bet you haven't done that have you. Bet you don't know the reason why either, it's because I had to prove it to myself that your just a friend that's it. I can't be bent. It's going to be hard enough to find love being what I am. Please stay my friend I couldn't bear to lose you." He stopped abruptly panting for he hardly paused for breath. Sirius still stared into his eyes, while his eyes were stormy. Remus could practically see his brain working furiously trying to take in all that information

"You love me" he couldn't say much else

"Yes…no, I don't know it's so hard" Sirius kissed him tenderly slipping in his tongue for good measure,

"Are you gay now?" almost childishly

"It's not that flaming simple is it?" he wasn't angry he actually felt exhausted mentally and physically,

"I don't know" he kissed him again more passionately letting his hands roam freely whilst Remus just lay there limp, "Now?"

"Listen, I'm sorry to disturb you from what you enjoy best, I need to go see my girlfriend she'll wonder where I am" he pushed Sirius off him with all the strength he could muster and strode off towards the castle.

He didn't have to go far when he met Sahara

"Oh thank Merlin, are you alright?" hurrying towards he and gave her a hug.

"No, I'm not you bastard" she sounded very angry but scared and in need of comfort at the same time,

"What why? You make it sound like it's my fault!". Indicating towards an small broom cupboard beyond the Entrance Hall she marched off and Remus followed half-heartedly, he didn't feel like getting yelled at not after the fiasco with Sirius. Looking disgruntled she bobbed in and waved at Remus to follow,

"It is your fault with your 'it'll show much I care' bollocks"

"You'll have to be a bit more pacific babe I'm not quite sure what your going on about" now he was starting to get a bit incensed.

"What I'm going on about? WHAT I'M GOING ON ABOUT?" she looked livid but still scared

"Calm down and explain"

"I SKIPPED A PERIOD!"

"Is that it really, I miss classes all the time. The most you'll get is a detention" he sighed then chuckled

"No, a _period" _she swept her hand loosely over her midriff

"You mean your pregnant?" he collapsed onto an up-turned bucket and looked up at her, his skin all most as pale as hers

"Yes, I'm with child as they say."

"No, no, no. Maybe your just a bit later than usual. It's not like on a perfect schedule is it" he really knew nothing about girls bodies

"Oh yeah I was only due 6 weeks ago…it'll probably come any day now" she shouted sarcastically. It would explain a lot though, her fainting, being sick regularly, bad complexion and awful mood-swings. She lifted up her robes and Remus noticed her t-shirt stretched a little over her normally flat stomach.

"I really don't understand we did the contraceptive charm" he was trying to find away out of this mess

"Well apparently you have to cast it every time you do it not just once a night" she sat down as well now and looked everywhere but her boyfriends face. Does any teachers know? he thought and she answered, like she was an accomplished Legilimens

"No, no-one knows, not even Pomfrey." she sounded really dejected, Remus noticed this and clasped her hands in his

"I'll be here, you won't be alone. I will be there every step of the way" it was like a heavy weight was lifted of her shoulders and it was really as she now knew she wouldn't be a barely sixteen young mum. She hugged him so hard blood was restricted from his limbs.

"Shall we go see the nurse together?" she nodded and he took her hand and lead the way. When they got there they greeted as usual by Madame Pomfrey's warm smile and strong smell of disinfectant

"What can I do for you…weren't you just here Miss LaRonetti?"

"Yeah I was…we were wondering if we could talk to you privately?" Sahara looked so nervous Remus squeezed her hand tight

"Both of you?"

"Yep"

"okay this way please" she led them into her offices which was absolutely fascinating. There was thousands of multi-coloured potion bottles lining the spherical walls. There was round ones, short ones, tall ones, rectangular ones and even a couple of hexagonal ones. The light bounced from one to another making the ceiling appear to be covered in rainbows and crystals. Remus would have loved to look closer at some of them, especially that which looked like it contained millions of fairies and miniature leprechauns. Unfortunately though he was about to tell the school he had knocked up his 16 year old girlfriend, now was not the time.

"So what is it?" she definitely looked worried with a little bit of suspicion mingled in.

"Well, miss I'm…erm…well the thing is I'm…I've missed…," she shot a desperate look at Lupin, he silently laughed; she was playing with her fingers, cracking, lacing, he couldn't tell which was he left or right!

"The thing is miss, we think…we think that Sahara is p-p-preg-gnant." he just couldn't get that one word out right

"I see, and why do you think this may I ask?" looking sternly at them over the wire frames of her glasses,

"That's what I was trying to say earlier…I'm six weeks late" she blushing tremendously as was Remus

"there is a simple spell I can do to find out" she pointed her wand at Sahara's swollen belly and muttered '_Infantius Revilius'. _A tiny baby about 4 inches long appeared wrapped in a golden bubble, it was bigger than a muggle baby as both of it's parent's were magical. Sahara dissolved into tears partly through sadness but mostly through intense_ elation _only a mother could understand.

"Is that my baby?" he asked looking round at the smiling matron

"Yes Mister Lupin!" he was so happy. Well it was a complicated emotion that couldn't explained. She flicked her wand again and the baby disappeared.

"No" Sahara grabbed at her stomach "No, where's my baby gone?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait quite a bit yet till it's born…," she suddenly looked stern again "Wait here I'll be back in a jiffy" and with that she swept out of the room. Sahara looked around and noticed to that Remus had a tear or two in the corner of his eyes. He grabbed her and held her close. Neither said a word just held each other until about ten minutes later Madame Pomfrey returned along with the headmaster Albus Dumbledore and a disbelieving head of Gryffindor Professor McGonagall.

"Good Afternoon Miss LaRonetti, Mister Lupin. I believe there's going to be a little bundle of joy arriving soon!" Their Head looked thrilled and McGonagall threw his a look of absolute incredulously

"Really Albus, that's all you've got to say? Not that they broke school rules or that they're way to young to bear the responsibility of a child or even that," she spoke in a carrying whisper for the next part, "that it might be contaminated with Lupin's condition!" Remus looked down and saw to his great surprise that he was stood up although he had no recollection of it transpiring.

"Will it professor??" he was looking directly at Dumbledore. He had never thought that his being a werewolf could affect his offspring. How could he do this…it'll be more sympathetic to abort the baby rather than subject he/she to a life of pain, neglect, no stability when it comes to work or relationships, being forced to be a social out-cast. Remus Lupin had never hated himself more than he does now and that was saying something.

"Remus, there is a very small possibility that It might be" Remus made a small pitiful moan "but, it is unlikely. At the most it will probably just fear the dark and like extra-extra-rare steak!" he said this all quite serenely. Sahara was looking from one person to another, her tear-stained face moving around like she was watching a particularly fierce Quidditch match.

"It is very rare for…someone of your type…to have children" McGonagall added, Remus glared at her

"My type? So what am supposed to do Professor eh? Like my life isn't as unbelievably miserable as it is…now I'm can't have children, or grandchildren cos they'll probably be infected to won't they?" he was very, very enraged now

"I'm sure Minerva didn't mean it that way Mister Lupin!" whispered a distressed looking Madame Pomfrey

"Yes she did" the boy sneered,

"Now Remus I must insist that you stop your attitude towards my staff at once" Dumbledore was still irritatingly calm

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. But none of you understand the trauma of having to grow up with the stigma of being a…,"he shot sideways glance at Sahara, took a deep breath and continued, "…of being a w-werewolf!" She gasped and stood up the rest of them held there breath to see if she'll run away or not. She did not, however she wanted answers.

"What did you say you were?" she demanded

"A werewolf" he muttered, she asked her next questions in rapid-fire:

"How long?"

"I was bitten when I was five"

"Who would bite a five year old?"

"Fenrir Greyback, he specialises in kids!"

"What happens at full moon or whenever?"

"Madame Pomfrey," he gave her a small smile which she reciprocated warmly, "She escorts me down to the Whomping Willow which is a secret passageway to the Shrieking Shack…"

"The haunted house on the edge of Hogsmeade?" she interrupted

"Yes and no. It is the house in Hogsmeade but it isn't haunted. The screams are made by me transforming. The ghost thing is just a rumour which is encouraged by Professor Dumbledore."

"Your not a danger to anyone?"

"No as long as they stay out of my way!"

"But if you came across a human while your…transformed…you'll bite them?"

"Unfortunately yes, but that's why I stay firmly in the shrieking shack" his thoughts wandered to the many nights he ran around the school grounds when he was a werewolf with the animagi James, Sirius and Peter and resolved to tell them that they should defiantly remain in the safety for now on.

"And your certain you won't hurt me or the baby?"

"when I'm at home I chain myself up in the basement and I haven't hurt my parents yet in about 11 years." At this she seemed satisfied and she walked forward and hugged him briefly because of the teachers watching. Dumbledore also now looked content. He rubbed his hands together and rocked on the ball of his feet

"Right then. I'm glad that's cleared up, you'll have to contact your parents of course but I'm quite happy with you staying here throughout the gestation period!" and with that he strolled out closely followed by McGonagall who just nodded stiffly at them. It was obvious she didn't agree but couldn't do anything about it so carried on.

"I would like to see you every 2 weeks and when your 12 weeks gone I'll book you in for a Magiscan at St. Mungo's. Yes, you can come to boy you are the dad after all!" It was at that point that it hit him that he actually was going to be a father. This little blob is going to grow up depending on him completely,

"…and I'm going to prescribe you this as well" she handed Sahara a big bottle of green gooey liquid,

"ewww, that's gross. So I'll see you in 2 weeks. Bye" it was clear for all to see that she was very happy. They had just stepped out of the hospital wing when they heard a voice call after them,

"Oh and good luck both of you!"

"Thanks miss" They closed the door and walked slowly back to the common room hand in hand oblivious to there surroundings!

"When do we tell our friends?" Remus asked he wanted to tell them right now and was hoping that Sahara felt the same,

"erm…well the rate I'm growing they'll find out soon any way so I suppose now?" she looked nervous

"Yeah that sounds great. Pretty please can we tell Sirius, James and Peter first?!?!?!" he pleaded looking at her with puppy-dog eyes,

"Okay you big baby, god it'll be like I have two children not one" she sighed but then they both burst out laughing. Then Remus suddenly thought of something extremely important,

"come with me" he grabbed her arm and steered her outside towards the lake. It was a beautiful Autumn day. The tree next to the lake looked like it was enchanted even though it actually wasn't, it glowed gold with little drips of molten gold spilling onto the lush green grass below. There was a very slight breeze which caused tiny constant ripples on the waters surface. In the whole it looked perfect. He held her hand and then out of nowhere got down on one knee,

"I remember the first thing you ever said to me, you said 'can I help you' and I never realised the extent to which one soul can help another. You have made me happier in these last few months then I've been in my entire life. You've helped my to realise what's important, friends, family and most importantly love. And I love you! So Sahara Paprika LaRonetti (or Hot & Spicy whatever you prefer!) Will you do me the greatest honour a human-being can possess and agree to become my wife?" he finished and looked up into her eyes.

"Yes…Yes. Oh Remus I would love to marry you!!" she wailed through incessant tears. With that he took out his wand and tapped it gently on her ring finger. A band of daisy's slowly encircled it then burst into cool flames, when the fire disappeared seconds later the daisy had gone and was replaced by a stunning White-gold ring with a series of diamonds set into the shape of a daisy!

"Oh I love it. How did you do it?"

"My dad taught me. He said that his great-grandmother was a world-famous magical jeweller and the secrets have been passed on throughout the generations!".

He was beaming from inside as they made they way slowly back to the common room again. The most obvious of Remus' idiosyncrasies came about when he was particularly joyous, which he was now, so of course he was playing with his hair! He pulled it and styled it and twirled it.

"Why did you propose?" she just kept staring at her ring,

"Well obviously because I love you, but I think that learning that we are going to have a baby sort of encouraged me do it quicker. If you hadn't of fallen pregnant I probably would have waited about a year" he revealed. He wasn't sure how she would take this so he waited with bated breath, she thought about it for a moment, Remus getting more nervous with every second,

"I…I completely understand. I probably wouldn't have said yes if it wasn't for our little son or daughter!! Oh my Merlin, it sounds so weird 'our son or daughter'"

"I know I'm really excited. And also a little nervous about telling my friends!" his voice shook with the nerves,

"Don't be I'll be right beside you"

They both climbed through the portrait hole and found his group of friends in a corner which was perfect because then no one else would hear.

"Hey guys I've got something incredibly important to tell you!" He helped Sahara in to comfy armchair next to James and then he stood behind her with his soft hands protectively on her shoulders.

"Oh cool, what is it. No, no let me guess! Hmmm…I'm going to say you've decided to have a massive party in honour of both Macy and Sahara getting better!" he jumped up and down, James loved parties

"No It's bigger than that," he glanced at Sirius who was staring resolutely in the opposite direction. "Well a couple of hours ago I was a boring, pathetic werewolf," his friends sat up alert looking from Remus to Sahara

"It's okay I know!" she laughed looked up at Remus

"Yeah well a lot has changed in those few hours…..I'm now an….engaged-to-be-married, father-to-be werewolf!"

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	6. Friends, Odds and Ends

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_**Chapter 6- Friends, Odds and Ends**

Remus sat down with Sahara and together wrote the hardest letters they would ever write. It took them over 2 hours and the final results didn't really explain everything but it was the best they could do under the circumstances. Sahara's letter was the worst, it was barely legible as the ink had run from all the tears that had spilled from her beautiful sparkling eyes. Even though she was of Italian descent her skin was milky white so the weeping made it blotchy and red. But fortunately her silver glow had returned and even intensified. In short she looked radiant. Even Remus looked healthier even though the full Moon was in two days. The couple put their heads together to re-read it once more:

_Dear Mum and Daddy,_

_I'm not quite sure how to tell you this. It will probably give you a heart attack!! The thing is, I'm writing to inform you that yesterday I discovered that I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I know your probably furious at me and I admit it was an accident and I'm stupid for giving away my innocence but I'm so happy. More happy than I've ever been in my life. The idea of having my child growing inside of me is over whelming. Just think your going to be grandparents! Mum, it will call you Mamma and daddy you'll be Papa! I want to stay at Hogwarts. I might be expecting but I still want my education. The good news is Professor Dumbledore says that you can visit and stay for a weekend every two week (that's when I have my checkups). The plan will be for you to floo to Professor McGonagall's office and then stay in a special room on the seventh floor. _

_There's something else. I'm also going to get married. To the father of course. His name is Remus Lupin and I love him so much! Remus is in my year, and I know your thinking he took advantage of me, but he didn't. We came to a mutual agreement. _

_So that's it then. I love you mum and daddy. Please don't hate me and don't hate Remus and our baby. I need you more now than I have ever done before. See you in a fortnight, Write soon._

_Love you_

_Sahara_

_Xxx_

_P.S_

_Dumbledore is going to write to you soon!_

It wasn't long but it said most of the important stuff. Except the part about the babies father being a werewolf!

James and Sirius sat in their cave and discussed the very interesting subject of their best friend becoming a dad. Well James was talking about it and Sirius was ignoring him,

"But seriously though, now he's a dad he will hardly ever do anything fun with us…Oh Merlin he'll have to get like morals or something, shit this is so much to deal with at once!"

James' ramblings had become incessant in the last few days. Sirius stared into space absent-mindedly picking at a loose thread on his trousers. He was thinking about Macy. Her long copper hair that sent waves of light like rainbows everywhere she went, her black eyes that looked incredibly sexy and sultry when she outlined them with her trademark midnight black eyeliner. The way she stuck her tongue out whilst concentrating or biting her nails when scared. She had quite a flat chest but it suited her petite frame. Sirius could actually smell her, roses and honey. It made her seem more majestic, Sirius couldn't really explain why that was but that was just what he imagined. In short she was not too bad to look at. He knew he loved Macy, well at least he thought he did. Remus had well and truly put a spanner in the works. After the half an hour, in which Sirius had done the thinking, of awkward and absolute silence James finally cracked,

"Sirius Orion Black, what the hell is up with you? You are doing my flamin' nut in! You're best friend, **best friend**, tells you his whole world is on the brink of annihilation… well, he thinks its gonna be good but he isn't thinking straight…but he **is** on the brink of full-on, bloody, annihilation, and all you can do is friggin grunt!" Sirius again completely ignored the outburst and continued to gaze into the jagged, pointy rocks of the caves archaic walls.

"Ohhhh…I've just got it! You hate Moony! I cannot believe it!" he threw his weather beaten hands into the air as if all of a sudden everything made sense. Finally Sirius was pulled out of his reverie,

"Shut up you prick, I don't hate him, I l…" he stopped and stared at his hands, blushing a deep crimson at nearly revealing his deepest, inner most secret. Standing up he mumbled his excuses and tumbled out of the rocky exit of the cave. He sneaked through a secret passageway into the school. Sirius ambled slowly down the deserted corridor, squinting slightly as he passed through the brilliant moonlight streaming through the open windows, it had to be about 1 o' clock in the morning. Tomorrow was full moon, tomorrow he would have to face Remus again. What would he say? Had he even noticed that Sirius had been avoiding him in the corridors, skulked in the corner of the common room watching him and Sahara giggling and cuddling (though she didn't look completely happy, sometimes downright miserable, but Sirius put it down to the pregnancy): his hand laid protectively on her fast growing stomach, or even that he laid awake for hours watching his chest rise and fall and his eyelids flicker as he slept. Just as he was pondering this latest conundrum, Sahara appeared as if out of nowhere.

"Hey Sirius, what you doing out so late?" she sounded inquisitive but overly-happy but it was her eyes that looked dead, emotionless.

"Nothing, just thinking about things, you know, personal things" he added pointedly, as if to say 'don't bother asking cos I won't tell'. Unfortunately she did not pick up on the hint,

"Oh sweetie, anything I can help with? I've been told I'm a good listener" her hands were on her hips, her features concerned but she was still looking distracted.

"No really I'm completely fine… boy stuff!" she didn't look convinced but didn't press the matter, "so anyways, how's the mutant?" he wasn't at all interested but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"If you mean my baby-then it's doing beautifully!" she smiled widely patting her abdomen lovingly "yeah it's brilliant, me and Remus…" Sirius winced when she said his name with such adoration, "…me and Remus are going to see a werewolf specialist as he's going to be there for the birth to see…well, erm, well to see if it is…one" she shot Sirius a distressed look.

"Do you care particularly?" she now had his full attention,

"No! Oh no, no, no. Of course not! Well obviously I would love more than anything for it to be normal, so it won't feel the pain and anguish that comes with being a werewolf, but I will do my utmost to help and make it feel comfortable and happy. Most importantly I love him, or her. Please, you do believe me don't you?" Sahara's sparkling silver and gold eyes met Sirius' stormy grey ones pleading and desperate. He nodded but didn't say anything. For the first time Sirius took in her full appearance: she was very beautiful, striking in fact, she had an amazing figure-curvy in all the right places but not to skinny, just right. However her normally willowy skin was grey and her face red and blotchy. Put that together with the facts that she looked wholly dejected and that she was wandering the school at night in her pyjamas. Something was wrong.

"Wait a minute, are you alright? You look dreadful and why are you up in the middle of the night in your pyjamas? You'll catch a cold!" he now looked at her sleepwear. It was made of white silk and it skimmed her body so fully, Sirius could make out of bump and hollow of her slender frame. Also it was cut quite a bit above the knee and a lot below the collarbone, it was not something a 16 year old would wear, well not around school anyway. Unless….

"Where have you been and who with?" she just spluttered and looked nervously around "Okay I want the truth: are you cheating on Remus, 'cos if you are, I swear to the almighty Merlin…" he was cut off by her flinging herself on him and sobbing into his burly chest.

"It was him, my supposedly best friend! I trusted him. I kept his secrets and he kept mine, I never thought he'd hurt me and **never** my baby!" she dissolved once more into heart wrenching tears. Sirius immediately sensed that this was a very serious situation and he had to take control, put aside his feelings for now.

"Right here's the plan, you are now going to tell me what you mean…" she choked a little and buried her head even further into his shirt. So he lifted her chin and looked once more deep into her eyes, "…everything! Then I will escort you to my dormitory and once there I think you should confide in Remus then you'll stay with James and Peter while me and Moony pay your friend a little visit. If he's hurting you and the mutant then he'll have to be taught a lesson won't he?" nodding slightly she sniffed and gasped for air, trying to regain her composure long enough to tell the frightful story she should have revealed months ago.

"Well, I suppose the bad part started on the penultimate week of last year. Somehow he had found out that I had kissed this random boy from Hufflepuff, so…that night, he took me to this really weird place, like a secret room on the forth floor. It was, erm, well it was like a…1940's muggle semi-detached! It had the big fireplace and the squishy sofa's, a big wireless next to the small polished piano. It kinda reminded me of my great aunt Bessie's" she giggled despite of herself. Separating herself from him, Sahara sighed a deep woeful sigh and backed into the stonewall, pressing her picturesque silver hair in to it. " It looked perfectly normal but…it wasn't. There was a door on the left that I suppose would have been the kitchen but it was some sort of medical centre. But not like the hospital wing, it was dark and dank like something out of a horror, torture film. Mainly just a long, hard bed and various healing potions. Lets just put it this way, it's only been 8 weeks-ish and nearly every bottle is empty." pausing she brushed away a stray tear that was fighting it's way towards her lips

"That was the first time he hit me. Broke my jaw, a couple of ribs…my left k..kneecap. The he kicked and pulled my hair till I lost consciousness. The biting didn't come till my fifth visit," a bitter laugh rolled off her tongue, "He told me that I was his and no-one else's. He loved me, you see, couldn't handle the competition so he beat me so I would stay away from the other boys, eliminate the opposition. Never raped me though…yesterday he touched me and it hurt a lot but that's the extent of it!" she was almost frantic, defending him, like it had been programmed into her brain.

"When he found out I slept with Remus…Merlin, he must of hit me, abused me, for hours. Well into the night, no, morning. So much so

we struggled to cover up and heal all of the broken bones and skin. I was so busy fixing them I forgot to fix my soul."

"Six weeks later I found out I was expecting and…I was happy…overjoyed but not just cos of the baby but also cos I thought ,rather naively, that he would stop. How wrong was I?" again she laughed but this time it was really strangled.

"He had been practising the, erm, the…Cruci…Cruciatus Curse since me and Remus did it" Sirius who had previously been listening silently now gasped mournfully and pulled her into a death grip of a hug. Sahara continued, mumbling into his chest "so he tortured me and fucking touched me but I didn't object. If I was 'a good little veela' (as he called me)he would let me go faster and damage my baby less!" Finished, she started panting a bit but looking relieved at finally having it all out in the open.

"Why are you wearing that?" Sirius whispered indicating her nighty,

"Oh yeah, he says he likes it…turns him on! More like that its more humiliation for me"

"And one last thing…"

"Uh huh"

"…who is this sick bastard?"

"His names…Severus Snape, he's in Slytherin. Do you know him?"

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	7. Snape Baiting!

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

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__**Chapter 7- Snape Baiting!**_

Sirius Black let out a low rumbling growl, echoing the one of his animagus.

"Snivellus!" He grabbed Sahara's hand and dragged her bodily up to the Gryffindor tower. Practically throwing her through the portrait hole and then literally carrying her up to his room, he dropped her on to his bed and then told her to wait there and don't move till he's back. He ran from the room yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Remus…Moony, bloody hell where is he when someone needs him! Remus! MOONY!!!!" Sirius was now running down the corridor next to the fat lady when finally 5 minutes later he bumped in to his oblivious companion coming back from the library under James' invisibility cloak.

"For the love of all that's magic, where the hell have you been?" Sirius was now bent double trying to get rid of a stitch in his side.

"What? I've been creeping in to the library studying for my N.E.W.T's every night. Why do you care?" Remus wasn't in the mood for Sirius' mad ramblings, especially since he had been funny with him recently.

"Follow me, it's urgent" Sirius started walking back and slowly Lupin followed. When they returned to the common room James intercepted them just as they were about to walk up the stairs,

"Found him then?" he smirked,

"No I found his identical twin…course I bloody found him!" Sirius quipped back.

"Yeah enough with the jokes, what was so urgent you felt the need to run around the school shouting my nickname…**secret** nickname?" Lupin actually looked quite amused with the situation, by this time they were at the top of the winding stone steps.

"See for your self…" he swung open the heavy mahogany door to reveal…nothing. Sahara had gotten under Sirius' sheets and curled into a tiny ball, like a cat. What gave her away though was the soft shaking of her sobbing silently. Remus looked inquiringly at his mates

"What am I supposed to be looking at…is this another one of your pathetic pranks, I will have to kill you!" At the sound of his deep reassuring voice Sahara whispered for him, still under the covers.

"Sahara? Is that you?" Why is she in your bed…YOU BASTARD!" Remus threw himself on Sirius and punched every part of him that he could reach but was distracted by a shriek,

"No, don't hit, don't kick, don't bite. I can't stand it please. STOP IT!!" Moony instantly crawled up next to her and put his arms around her. They rocked backwards and forwards and he whispered kind words and lullabies in her ear.

"Sahara honey, why don't you tell Moony exactly what you told me".

Half an hour later, once again, the poor girl had to relive her worst memories. After she had concluded the horror story Remus stood up and without a word marched out of dorm and walked quite calmly to the dungeons, Sirius, who had had to stay behind to tell James to watch over Sahara, finally caught up with him just as he had started pacing up and down in front of the blank stretch of wall which marked the entrance of Slytherin.

"What do you plan to do moony? We can't get in there and even if we could, I wouldn't let you. They'd kill you!" Lupin looked around with a maniacal look in his eye.

"Ah ha! That's where your wrong Black! It's full moon tomorrow, all it'll take is for that prick to push me a step to far and…I'll transform!" a cold high pitched laugh came out of the calm, studious, sixteen year old. Sirius was now slightly scared. Remus had never even thought about using his disability to his advantage. It was certainly a turn for the books. He was now pacing again with his head in his hands. There was several more minutes of Sirius staring and Remus striding until the werewolf sighed and walked slowly towards Sirius. He leaned his head on his friends shoulder and Sirius gingerly patted him on the back.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting like an idiot. This isn't me! I cannot even believe I said that I would transform… ahhhh. It's just he didn't only hurt my fiancé but my baby as well. Who would do such a monstrous thing?" The blank wall slid open to reveal the answer.

"Oh! I'm sorry. have I interrupted something. I always knew there was something between you two. You know, a spark!" Snape smiled and revealed a set of dirty, yellow teeth, his lips chapped and his skin sallow. Black hair hung like grimy curtains, small strands clinging to the grease on his long, hooked nose. Though his smile didn't last long! Two teenage rebels jump on a adolescent loner, resulting in a furious scuffle on the dusty, stone floor of the dungeon. Remus pummelled Severus' face while Sirius worked the legs and stomach.

"What the hell are you doing? Your both maniacs!" Snape cried out trying to dodge Remus who had come across with a new energy and…well, it can only be described as viciousness.

"This is for Sahara!" he punched him on the nose, "This is for our baby!" he whacked him on the head, " This is for being such a loser!" he kicked him in the stomach then looked at Sirius, who was standing back watching, looking mildly impressed, and they silently communicated then Sirius nodded and moved to stand over Snape's limp body.

"And this, Snivellus," he put extra emphasis on the name, " is for… that time, the other day, when you touched my robes. I really couldn't get the grease out for days!" with that he kicked him in the head and preformed a very powerful memory charm upon him. Leaving him bruised and battered but with no recollection of who, why or when they did it!

"You know, I really wish you hadn't put that memory charm on the bastard" Remus mused,

"Why?"

"I would have happily taken the blame. Hell, it's taking all of my self control to stop me making posters!" They both laughed merrily (but quietly, it was past curfew) all the way back to bed. Sirius thinking of Remus, Remus thinking of Sahara, Sahara thinking of Snape, Snape thinking of James and James thinking of pizza!

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